Quite a few years ago, I ran with a group from Track Shack (a local running store) occasionally for a mid-week run. It was sometimes a tempo run and sometimes a track workout, and was one of my first experiences running with a group. I had already completed my first marathon (Dublin in 2001), which included training with a small group of Team Diabetes runners, but I had never participated in a coached interval workout before.
We were at the Trinity Prep school track one evening--I remember it was dark so it must have been in spring or fall, not summer with longer daylight hours (an irrelevant detail, it's just part of the memory). I only knew one or two other people there who had encouraged me to attend the session. I don’t even remember what the workout was for that day. I know we ran about a mile as a warm-up to get to the track, then we did some sort of repeats. There were all levels of runners there, some very fast, others mid-packers, and then me. I was intimidated. I was last. What stands out, however, is that the “fast” runners, the ones who were likely running repeats in the mid-5:00 minute mile range, were just as spent as I was when we finished. They were tired, working hard, pushing through pain, but getting it done to the best of their abilities. I couldn't even get to an 8:00 minute mile pace at that time, but I was trying as hard as I could. As I crossed the line for the final repeat (and I really was the last one), the others were all cheering and encouraging me, even the fast ones. What I took from that experience was that it's hard for everybody, I'm not the only one struggling. We're just all struggling at different levels. I started to look at running differently at that point. I used to think I was just not a good runner, because it felt hard all the time. But so what if it's hard? Isn't is supposed to be? Easy is too...easy. I realized then that it doesn't matter what your final time is, or average speed, only that it's important to give it your all, whatever that is for you.
I was reminded of this again last week when watching an interview after Stage 9 of the Tour de France, when Dan Martin from Garmin Sharp and another rider broke away in the final kilometers, and Martin hung on to win the stage. In a post-race interview, he mentioned that at one point his legs were so tired and hurting so badly that he wished the group would actually catch them because he didn't think he could push on. Clearly he was able to put that momentary thought of doubt aside and push on to win. Another example that at the top level, it's still hard, but maybe what separates the winners from the losers is the mental fortitude to push through.
I know I will need to call upon that winning attitude many times throughout the Ironman. There will surely be times when I want to quit, when I question why in the world I wanted to start such an insane venture! But I will have my arsenal of positive thinking. Here are a few that I've already come up with (I'm sure I'll add a few more in the next few weeks):
1. I’ve made it through a difficult race situation before (quite a few times). When it gets tough in the IM, I will think about these past situations in which I made it through, knowing that even though at the time I thought finishing was unimportant and stopping would have felt SO much better, I kept going and I made it. And I was fine. No, not just fine, I was the better for it. For example:
- My marathon PR in Tampa included a lot of walking and running on legs that felt like lead weights during the final 10K, but I kept repeating to myself that the faster I ran, the sooner it would be over, so "Just keep running, just keep running, running, running..." (Sung to the tune of Dory's "Just keep swimming" from Nemo). I use this mantra a lot in difficult races
- My attempt at a Boston qualifying time at the Shamrock Marathon in Virginia Beach did not go as planned, and I was toast before the halfway point. I wanted to stop and curl up on the side of the road, especially with such a long way to go, but I didn't. I kept giving myself a goal to reach--the next mile, then take a 1 minute walk break, the next aid station, cheering on other people, etc. Though I was way off a PR, I still finished with my second fastest marathon time
- My PR half marathon in Tampa last year started out great, but the last 4 miles were so painful because I had (stupidly) gone too hard on a bike ride the day before, and my quads had nothing left. I wanted to stop. They actually hurt. But again, I knew the faster I went, the sooner it would be over. I missed my goal by 55 seconds, but it was still a PR.
3. Don't settle for just finishing...unless that ends up being the last available option. I don’t agree with those who take the easy way out and say “but I really don’t care about winning, I’m just having fun.” I think that's a self-protective measure to avoid failure. After all, if your expectations (and expectations of others) are low, then it's easier not to fail, right? It's not about the easy way, it’s about finding your limits, pushing past them, and then REALLY finding out what you are capable of! But with that said, I do have multiple goals related to this race based in reality. The final goal, should all others fail, is just to finish. But I'm not going into the race with that goal, because I know I have trained for and am capable of more than that. Not once in this entire journey have I thought that I might not finish the race. It hasn't even crossed my mind as one of the possibilities. Bad things happen, sure, unexpected things. But why focus on that? I am prepared physically, so the hardest part during the race will be using positive thinking to do the best I can, to combat the negative thoughts that will creep up, and to drive those thoughts away.
4. Draw strength from my supporters. I will have a small cadre of faithful Sherpas at the race. Brian will be there--he is my biggest fan and an expert at understanding my OCD triathlon preparation ritual and nervous anticipation levels; plus my Mom, Aunt Karen and Uncle Jeff will all be there in person. Countless others will be supporting me from afar, and have been providing me with encouragement throughout this entire journey. Those of you who participate in athletic events know what a boost it is to have someone you know, even for just a moment, see you on the course and yell your name and encouraging words. The value of those short interactions is immeasurable. I want to do well not just for myself, but for everyone in my cheering section.
It's strange that a week can make all the difference in the world regarding attitude. Just over a week ago I was feeling that the race was way too close, that I wasn't ready, I needed more time. Now I am starting to get that anxious feeling. That "wow, it's still 6 weeks away, when will it ever get here" feeling. That means I'm feeling ready. I'm excited, I'm pumped, I'm looking forward to the challenge and to see what I am capable of, how I handle the day, how I manage to combat the negativity.
Six weeks to go! I will do my best to maintain a winning attitude. I'm ready!
P.S. Bonus article I read last week on positive thinking:
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