So 3 weeks of training down, only 27 more to go--it really doesn't seem like that much! And as obsessed as I am with this journey, I have developed some very strong hopes, and some very real fears. Some of them are directly related to each other; others are completely random. So in no particular order:
HOPE: That my training will pay off and I will accomplish my stated goal of a 12 hour Ironman finish.
FEAR: The more I read about Ironman Louisville, the more concerned I become that I may not be able to meet the challenge I have set out for myself. Barring any unfortunate "disaster" (i.e. bike crash), I have no doubt that I will beat the 17-hour cutoff. However, I have been reading a lot of race reports from past races, and comments from people who have done this race over the years, and it appears as though the bike portion of the race is quite difficult. It has some hills, which I was aware of, but apparently a lot of people overdo it on the bike and completely implode on the run. Which brings me to my next fear.
FEAR: Overdoing it on the bike and imploding on the run. I have good reason to fear this, because I have a tendency to push it as hard as I can on the bike, which is my strongest discipline. In past triathlons, I think part of that has been that I've come out of the water so slow (due to my prior poor swimming technique), and I feel the added pressure of having to catch up on the bike, then pound it out as much as I can on the run. None of the other triathlons compare to an Ironman, of course, and the very real challenge of running a marathon after 112 miles of biking. But in the only half-ironman I've done, I swam at least 5 minutes out of my way on the swim (user-error!), and really pushed it on a VERY windy bike. When I got to the transition and bent over to put my running shoes on, my legs seized up and I almost crumpled to the ground! But I quickly straightened up and they relaxed. Then my lower back was seizing up for the first 4 miles of the run. I was able to stretch it into submission after that, but my run time was a few minutes slower than I feel it should have been. I still did a really great job and was happy with my time, but I do think I worked too hard on the bike.
So...even though I believe all of these people who say "don't overdo it on the bike or you'll sabotage your run," I fear that come race time I won't listen. Luckily, this is a fear I can work on because I have control over it. At this point, though, in the back of my mind there is a little voice saying "but you have a goal for the bike, and if you don't hit that you might not make your 12-hour goal." It's a cruel voice, a taunting voice, one that I must figure out how to beat into submission!
HOPE: I hope that all of the work I'm doing in the pool will pay off with a steady, satisfying swim. I believe it will, and am very excited about it since this used to be one of my biggest fears. I was never "afraid" of the swim, never had anxiety over open water, whether ocean or lake, like some triathletes do. My fear has always been the sense of failure as I watch all the women in front of me pull away seemingly so easily--very demoralizing to start a race this way! So I am pleased to have turned this into a hope. I know I have a very long way to go in perfecting my swim technique as much as I want to, but I have time to get there.
HOPE: I hope that I can continue the momentum that I have maintained for these first three weeks. I know the number of training hours will only get longer, and the workouts more difficult, but I look forward to that. I have embraced this training plan, and man does it feel good not to worry about it anymore! It is such a relief to just follow a plan, albeit one I have tweaked just a bit, and to trust that it will get me there. Maybe it's a big risk to put my trust in a stranger (Don Fink, author of the book/plan I'm following), but what he says makes sense to me, and I consider him the expert, not me.
FEAR: Nutrition. Both now and during the race. I am doing well with my nutrition, but am maybe not as strict as I should be. I'm eating good food, but probably too much of it. I need to work on that to get down to a race weight that I'm comfortable with and that will be optimum for meeting my goal. I fear race-day nutrition at this point because I don't yet have a strategy. I have plenty of time to figure it out, but I have a tendency to not drink enough on the bike or run. Everything I read from experienced IM Louisville racers is DRINK, DRINK, DRINK...EAT, EAT, EAT. So I must make a plan, but without a coach I fear that my plan will be wrong. We'll see.
HOPE: Crossing that finish line with my hands up high, my family there with me, smiling a HUGE smile! I picture this often, and visualize the accomplishment.
There are more hopes and fears, though these are the most pronounced. Nothing unmanageable. I plan on revisiting the subject during the second and third phases of my training to see what has changed, and maybe more importantly, what has not.
So what are your hopes and fears? Have you turned fears into hopes in a past endeavor that was important to you? How did you do it?
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