Dare to Dream...but no nightmares, please

It is entirely too early for Ironman Louisville stress dreams!  I have too many months to go...yet I had the first of what I am sure will be many stress dreams about the race just a couple of nights ago.

First let me explain that I have certain recurring stress dream themes.  I think my mom and my sister suffer from this, as well.  They typically involve a scenario in which I am usually prepared, but not in the dream. The setting is often a job that I have or have had, although I ocassionally have the "don't feel prepared for the race" stress dream.

Some examples:

• Scenario 1--I am working at a Pizza Hut delivery place (which I did in high school--the very romantic part-time job at which I met my future husband), and the pizzas are coming out of the oven (the conveyor belt style) faster than I can grab them, so they back up and begin to crash to the ground.  The pans are of course too hot to grab by hand, so I am helpless to stop the insanity.
• Scenario 2--I return to work at Fish Bones (where I waited tables through college), and although I know there are tables of guests waiting for me to take their orders, I just can't quite get to them.  Instead, I walk by their tables, again and again, going from one end of the restaurant to the other (for who knows what reason--a forgotten water, or side of butter, or check, or whatever), all the while pleading a cry of "I'll be right with you" as I pass, watching the guests' faces become more and more frustrated and impatient.
• Scenario 3--I am at my current job, and I arrive late at a poll worker training that I am not prepared for, at which there are too many people to fit in the room, I can't get the equipment working, and they are all talking at once, demanding things of me, trying to help me, but in reality they are just making things worse (cue Stewie to get an idea of how I feel in this dream).
• Scenario 4--The race dream (not THE race, just any race), where I arrive late, I don't have my timing chip, I'm running at the back of the pack, trying to catch up but no matter how hard I try I am reduced to a crawl, unable to actually run.  A variation of this dream is one where I have to follow arrows in a convoluted race in and out of buildings, up and down stairs, and I seem to be the only one who keeps missing the signs or arrows indicating which way to turn.

I swear, I am not making this up!  These dreams happen, with unique alterations, again and again when I feel stressed about something.  Clearly, it is my fear of not being prepared that causes the dreams. 

I hate not being prepared.  Although I am not a mom, I have certainly turned into my mother, who is always prepared.  I have a Mom Purse!  What do you need, a tissue?  Here, I have 5 wadded up masses of tissue.  Band-aid?  What size?  I have plenty.  USB drive?  Sure, use my travel one.  Eye drops? Floss? Chapstick?  Check.  (No, you can't have a check.  I mean "check" as in I've got all those.  Though I have checks, too.  Who even uses those anymore?)

Oh, my...I digress...

So a couple of nights ago I had an Ironman Louisville stress dream, no doubt instigated by the hour I spent in the pool the evening before, feeling weak, tired and inadequate (although admittedly hopeful at the prospect of my improvement!). 

It is suddenly time for the start of the race.  I'm with Brian, and he is participating in the sprint tri occurring at the same time.  We begin in a strange transition area but are quickly ushered to the start line.  I look frantically around for my family--there they are!  At the starting dock, they see me.  There's my mom, my aunts, some other people I don't know--woo hoo! Here I go!  IM Louisville is a time trial swim start, with each participant lining up and jimping into the water off the dock in quick succession.  As I make my way, the dock gets precarious, broken boards must be carefully navigated to reach the jump point.  No problem, I made it, I'm there...Wait!  I forgot my goggles! I have no swim cap!  Can I go back to transition?  Will I be too late?

The dream continues from there, morphing into a confusing mess of what day is it?  Why don't I have my goggles?  Why do I feel so rushed?  As I go with Brian back to the transition, it is suddenly dark again instead of dawn.  People are already coming in from the swim to get their bikes...how can I still make the start?  Argh!  So stressful...

I hope this means that I got that major stress dream out of the way.  The "official" start of my IM training is still a couple of weeks away.  And I am hopeful about my ability to improve in the swim, I know I'll get my bike and run work done, I have to watch my nutrition carefully to get to a "race weight" but I think I can do it.  I am always prepared (maybe a little too prepared sometimes).  So maybe this dream was a clue for me to just go with the flow.  The likelihood that everything will work out exactly as planned is fairly low, but that doesn't mean it won't be great.  So I'm going to plan, I'm going to execute, but most importantly, I'm going to have fun and enjoy the ride!