An easy life...a difficult challenge

My life is easy.  I do not (normally) take this for granted, and it is especially apparent as I begin this Ironman journey.  Yes, I suppose I have minor problems, but nothing that cannot be overcome.  I have wondered lately how much of my "easy" life is due to luck, how much to circumstance, and how much of it is my doing?  I think it's definitely a combination of all three.

What made me think of this is Facebook.  Yes, social media has me pondering the philosophical, about my life anyway.  Like many people on Facebook, I have a variety of "friends."  Those from childhood / high school who I am glad to have reconnected with, even if only online; family; connections from my professional life, both from my current occupation and past; close friends; people I meet through social activities, which is mostly comprised of cycling and running; and then maybe the odd friend-of-a-friend connection.  I have noticed that quite a few of these "friends" seem to have difficult or dramatic lives.  Cryptic posts about being stabbed in the back, or betrayal, or "you know who you are" posts damning some mystery offender.  None of my close friends, however, post things like this.  I do not post things like this.  I don't really have much negative drama in my life, and again I wonder if that is due to luck, circumstance or choice.  I think much of it is choice.  Why would I want negative drama in my life?  It's not worth it.  I want to enjoy life, take advantage of positive opportunities, and have no regrets.  I also see a lot of posts, mostly (if not exclusively) from women, with encouraging sayings or poems all focused on not letting people tell you that you can't do something.  While I agree with many of these sayings, I find it sad that many women seem to have been told otherwise--that they can't do it, that it's not possible.  I have never suffered that--my entire life I have been surrounded by supportive family, friends, teachers, coworkers and others...and I truly don't understand why anyone would tell someone else "you can't do that, it's impossible."

What, do you ask, does any of this have to do with Ironman training?  It is a way for me to remind myself that this journey is something I have chosen because it will be something I enjoy...an opportunity to take advantage of...and in order to have no regrets, I have to commit to it fully.  This has been a problem for me in the past.  I am a planner-extraordinaire.  An idea person.  Ms. Prepared.  Confident.  But follow-through?  Yeah, that's my problem.  With an Ironman, I have to conquer that obstacle and change the mindset and approach I have taken in past endeavors.  My life is easy.  I have a great husband, who has committed to supporting me in this endeavor.  I am healthy.  I have supportive family and friends who believe in me.  I have a good job, no children, no difficult commitments.  So success is really all up to me.

My official training starts tomorrow, January 28th.  (It "starts" with a rest day, since Mondays will be rest days, but it still officially the beginning of the plan).  I am going to follow a 30-week training plan, which is slightly longer than most, but since I exercised so little from July through November of last year due to work, I figure this is the best approach for me.  The plan calls for heart rate zone based training, which I've never done before.  In fact, I've never used a heart rate monitor, and I hope the one that came with my Garmin works!  I will try my best to follow the plan as much as I can, meaning I want to miss as few workouts as possible, and when I do miss, I will not try to "make them up" as I have in the past.  I have half marathon scheduled in February, an Olympic distance triathlon in March, a half-ironman distance triathlon in April, a sprint in May, another Olympic in June, then I'll have to find either an Oly or Sprint in July.  And then August and Louisville will be here before I know it!

Unfortunately, I am going in to the beginning of this plan heavier than I want to be, which is completely my fault.  I have been eating out so much lately, which always causes me to gain weight.  But I am not going to let that deter me or get me down.  Nutrition will be a huge focus for me over the next 10 weeks.  Why 10 weeks?  The training plan is split into 3 ten-week sections.  The first 10 weeks focuses on building a base of fitness.  Since I won't have that many high intensity workouts, and the long runs and bikes will not be that long (relatively speaking), I should be able to focus on weight loss and getting to what I think should be my race weight.  After that, once the intensity and distance picks up, I'll need more fuel and losing weight will be much more difficult.

So I embark on the first section of my journey now, with the following goals:

• Focus on swim technique so that I don't feel like I'm constantly fighting the water (I am so sick of watching the women in my triathlon wave swim away from me!)
• Nutrition, nutrition, nutrition.  To be successful here I have to plan all of my meals, cook for the week on Sunday, and try to stay as "paleo" as possible.
• Early morning exercising--I have been so lazy with getting up early, and that is just not an option from now on.  This means early to bed, too. 

So, here we go!  Thanks for embarking on the journey with me!

Dare to Dream...but no nightmares, please

It is entirely too early for Ironman Louisville stress dreams!  I have too many months to go...yet I had the first of what I am sure will be many stress dreams about the race just a couple of nights ago.

First let me explain that I have certain recurring stress dream themes.  I think my mom and my sister suffer from this, as well.  They typically involve a scenario in which I am usually prepared, but not in the dream. The setting is often a job that I have or have had, although I ocassionally have the "don't feel prepared for the race" stress dream.

Some examples:

• Scenario 1--I am working at a Pizza Hut delivery place (which I did in high school--the very romantic part-time job at which I met my future husband), and the pizzas are coming out of the oven (the conveyor belt style) faster than I can grab them, so they back up and begin to crash to the ground.  The pans are of course too hot to grab by hand, so I am helpless to stop the insanity.
• Scenario 2--I return to work at Fish Bones (where I waited tables through college), and although I know there are tables of guests waiting for me to take their orders, I just can't quite get to them.  Instead, I walk by their tables, again and again, going from one end of the restaurant to the other (for who knows what reason--a forgotten water, or side of butter, or check, or whatever), all the while pleading a cry of "I'll be right with you" as I pass, watching the guests' faces become more and more frustrated and impatient.
• Scenario 3--I am at my current job, and I arrive late at a poll worker training that I am not prepared for, at which there are too many people to fit in the room, I can't get the equipment working, and they are all talking at once, demanding things of me, trying to help me, but in reality they are just making things worse (cue Stewie to get an idea of how I feel in this dream).
• Scenario 4--The race dream (not THE race, just any race), where I arrive late, I don't have my timing chip, I'm running at the back of the pack, trying to catch up but no matter how hard I try I am reduced to a crawl, unable to actually run.  A variation of this dream is one where I have to follow arrows in a convoluted race in and out of buildings, up and down stairs, and I seem to be the only one who keeps missing the signs or arrows indicating which way to turn.

I swear, I am not making this up!  These dreams happen, with unique alterations, again and again when I feel stressed about something.  Clearly, it is my fear of not being prepared that causes the dreams. 

I hate not being prepared.  Although I am not a mom, I have certainly turned into my mother, who is always prepared.  I have a Mom Purse!  What do you need, a tissue?  Here, I have 5 wadded up masses of tissue.  Band-aid?  What size?  I have plenty.  USB drive?  Sure, use my travel one.  Eye drops? Floss? Chapstick?  Check.  (No, you can't have a check.  I mean "check" as in I've got all those.  Though I have checks, too.  Who even uses those anymore?)

Oh, my...I digress...

So a couple of nights ago I had an Ironman Louisville stress dream, no doubt instigated by the hour I spent in the pool the evening before, feeling weak, tired and inadequate (although admittedly hopeful at the prospect of my improvement!). 

It is suddenly time for the start of the race.  I'm with Brian, and he is participating in the sprint tri occurring at the same time.  We begin in a strange transition area but are quickly ushered to the start line.  I look frantically around for my family--there they are!  At the starting dock, they see me.  There's my mom, my aunts, some other people I don't know--woo hoo! Here I go!  IM Louisville is a time trial swim start, with each participant lining up and jimping into the water off the dock in quick succession.  As I make my way, the dock gets precarious, broken boards must be carefully navigated to reach the jump point.  No problem, I made it, I'm there...Wait!  I forgot my goggles! I have no swim cap!  Can I go back to transition?  Will I be too late?

The dream continues from there, morphing into a confusing mess of what day is it?  Why don't I have my goggles?  Why do I feel so rushed?  As I go with Brian back to the transition, it is suddenly dark again instead of dawn.  People are already coming in from the swim to get their bikes...how can I still make the start?  Argh!  So stressful...

I hope this means that I got that major stress dream out of the way.  The "official" start of my IM training is still a couple of weeks away.  And I am hopeful about my ability to improve in the swim, I know I'll get my bike and run work done, I have to watch my nutrition carefully to get to a "race weight" but I think I can do it.  I am always prepared (maybe a little too prepared sometimes).  So maybe this dream was a clue for me to just go with the flow.  The likelihood that everything will work out exactly as planned is fairly low, but that doesn't mean it won't be great.  So I'm going to plan, I'm going to execute, but most importantly, I'm going to have fun and enjoy the ride!

New year, new blog...my first Ironman journey!

I remember doing my first 15K race (9.4 miles) years ago.  I really don't think I had ever run that far, I'm not sure why I signed up other than peer pressure, and even though the route was a beautiful course through downtown Orlando, all I remember is at about mile 8, having to stop and walk a bit, and saying to a friend, "This is crazy.  I would never do a marathon!"

Since that proclamation, I've completed 9 marathons, and more half marathons than that.  All along this endurance running journey, which includes various triathlons (many sprint and Olympic distances), I always maintained that as much as I enjoy distance running, I would NEVER be interested in completing a full Ironman.  That's just crazy.  (Apparently, just as crazy as completing marathons.)  Then came 2011, probably my best year of fitness to date (as an adult, anyway).  I started CrossFit and focused on triathlons.  My A race was a half ironman in October.  I did quite a few shorter triathlons that year, and did quite well, even placing 1st and 2nd in my age group a few times.  And then I did the half ironman.  Though my swim was deplorable (due to lack of swim training and my error of swimming off course, adding at least 5 minutes to my time), my bike was good, and my run was okay.  I could have done a little better, but I placed second in my age group and was very pleased with my result.  And do you know what thought crossed my mind?  Yup, maybe I COULD do an Ironman someday.  And internally, that is when this journey began.

My goal with this blog is to use it as a release for my excitement, my fears, my frustrations, and just generally as an outlet for this journey.  Even if no one reads it, I find it therapeutic to get it all out and down on paper...well, down on the computer screen, but whatever.  Same thing.  My intention is to post at minimum weekly, detailing my training successes and set backs, and whatever else might be relevant (or completely random observations) during my training.  I am a person who needs a goal.  I know it's supposed to "be about the journey," but do you know what my motivation is?  Thinking about myself crossing that finish line.  I can picture myself in that moment, and I think about what it will be like.  I try to keep these thoughts positive--I have an amazing race, I have enough energy to raise my arms over my head in an excited salute, and of course I cry with happiness.  I know that it might not happen that way, that anything can happen in a race to derail the best of intentions and a religiously followed training plan.  But that's not what I think about--I want the victory, whatever that may mean for me.  And I know that focusing on the end is not necessarily the best, but a successful end means that the journey has been successful.  It also will help motivate me to stick to the hard work that it's going to take to get myself ready to reach that goal.

For those who may be reading this, however few that may be, who are not familiar with Ironman...it is a triathlon with the usual combination of swim, bike then run.  But it's long.  It starts with a 2.4 mile swim.  Yes, all at once.  After exiting the water, you run to what is called the transition area (T1), to get on your bike.  The bike leg is 112 miles.  Yes, all at once.  After completing the bike leg, you go back to the transition area (T2) to drop off your bike and put on your running shoes.  Then you run a marathon.  26.2 miles.  Yes, you guessed it, all at once.

All of this must be accomplished in less than 17 hours, start to finish.  Seventeen hours is an extremely long time.  Many people aren't even awake for 17 hours a day.  The professional women and men will complete it between 8 1/2 - 10 hours. Of course my overall goal is to finish, and finish within the timeframe.  But I know I won't be satisfied with that.  I have a number in my head, the time I want to beat.  Maybe I'll share that later, but not right now.

I will close this first post by saying that I am so excited!  I am really looking forward to this challenge, because I know I can do it.  But I also know my weaknesses, and they will keep cropping up during this journey...lack of follow-through...procrastination...over-estimation of ability...Happily, all of those challenges can be controlled--I just have to want it bad enough.  I watched a video today of the 2012 Louisville Ironman--OH!  I totally forgot to mention--my race is Ironman Louisville on August 25, 2013.  Anyway, the video highlighted the volunteers, the competitors, both professional and age groupers, and showed quite a bit of the finish line.  That is my motivation--I will be there, I will cross that finish line having done all that I can to make it a great race.  Woo hoo!  Come on the journey with me!